In these early hours of a Monday morning, I am needing comfort. My soul is troubled. Who is enough to ease this pain? Who or what is enough to soothe this suffering? There is calamity, turmoil, and suffering at every corner of my life. When I turn to those I trust will help I am denied. When turning toward others there is misunderstanding. Again when I turn toward certain family, there is nothing but abandonment, sheer abandonment. A church who cares and loves when it does not benefit them: Where are you? A family that cares and loves when another has caused pain and hurt: Where are you? Close friends who care enough to walk with you through this struggle: Where are you? All of you say that you care and that you love, yet you are absent and have been for quite sometime. Loneliness and abandonment resulting from the unrighteousness and sin of one individual seems unfair and unjust. I desire justice, yet I am thankful for mercy. I desire compassion, yet I am all for rebuke. Repentance is necessary for forgiveness. An open and forgiving heart is enough, but forgiveness cannot take place until there is confession and repentance. Why abandon the ones you have hurt? Does it make sense to cause more hurt due to pride and an unwilling spirit to repent? I have named this “the situation” and we talk about it constantly. The full range of human emotion has been exhausted over the past two years. How much more can we bear? I am tired. I am ready to lay down and quit.
I need a release from this abandonment and lack of concern from the “body of Christ”. Where will I seek my comfort and refuge? Will I settle for the pleasures that this world has to offer in order to blunt my pain? No! I will not give Satan a foothold. By the grace of God, I will not allow him to deceive me into self-pity and tempt me to sin. In these late nights I am faced with a choice under God’s sovereignty. Will I release my anguish and find comfort in self-seeking pleasures of the world? Or, will I humble myself and release my anguish and find comfort in the God-seeking glory of His love and mercy. I will trust in the Lord tonight! He is my Rock, my Treasure, my all-satisfying Joy! I will drink from His stream and be satisfied. The burning pain of my soul will be soothed with His quenching waters of love and peace. I will find my refuge in you, O God! It is true Lord; I need You! In all my loneliness, You prove faithful. In my confusion, You prove true. In my sorrow, You are my joy! In You I will rejoice. In You I will find peace and comfort for this troubled soul. There is not enough praise that could flow from my heart and lips that would magnify You to the extent of Your worth. You are far more worthy than my heart could express! I praise You for the perfection of Christ and Your love for sinners that we might be declared perfect in Your sight by our faith in Him! More than food, more than breath, more than life, I need You, my Savior King!
You are enough, Lord! You are enough!
By His Grace — For His Glory — For our Joy